When i was 17

Among so many advises or opinions that I received whole my life, this particular discussion with Wenni Leong, whom was then my brother's girlfriend and now my sis-in-law, made a very big impact to my life.

When I was 17...... no, let's go way back to 13.

13, I secretly liked a girl in my neighbourhood. Though I had many chance and encounters with her, and me, Chooi Leang, was being very very shy back then (and also very noob), was too afraid to march forward. To cut the story short, nothing ever happened with me & her.

So, at 17, after my SPM, having much free time, waiting for my results and future still undecided, there was one occassion where Wenni discussed with me of my POV on love and relationship.

Being much influenced by the movies, having no experience of couple, seeing how suffer it is when (few) friends of mine break-up with their other one, my (back then) mindset leads me to saying these:

*M for Me, W for Wenni*

M: I think I should really really thoroughly choose my wanna-be girl, get it right on the 1st one

After I said it out, I was given a straight immediate "NO" from Wenni.

W: How do you able to justify when you had chosen one and she will be the one??

I then defended my stand with my reasons and she ask another question

W: So, if you decided to slowly choose, how old will you gonna be when you found your so-called The One?

M: Eh, how to answer lar this question? Cannot know one mar...

W: EXACTLY! How old are you now? 17, right? Let's say you preserve with your current "strategy" and found your 1st-One right after you graduated. I saw 21-22 like that lah, okay?

So you start at 22, paktor for say 5-6 years. If the plan really goes your way, ok then fine. Get married. Have kids. Do whatever you want.

But do you ever think what it would be if it fails? You have to restart the whole cycle again. You think you after break up can straight away get another 1 aah? Drag drag drag, you can easily 30 years old already.

M: but what would mom thinks? all other my 3 brothers just brought one home and I keep on changing mehh??

W: That's what I am saying. They brought him showed to your mom, when they are already 26-27! There's not much room for error...

What I am telling you is, if you inject some braveness and start exploring early, in case anything goes wrong, it's okay one. You have longer years to "repair" and when you failed, you know where is the mistake and you can avoid doing it to the next one.

Months later, I met my ex.

I tell you, if I didnt had the above discussion with Wenni, I doubt I'm go all out for this girl and continue to lay-back.

Went through the courtship and won her heart later on. True enough, after about 2 years of relationship, it ended.

But I gained a lot from it. From many aspect. From courtship, to relationship to break-ups.

What leads me to write this post is, recently I had the similar discussion as per above mentioned. Only this time, I am the "senior" position.

And the way I look it, these kids actually having the similar mindset as mine when I was 17.

--- AFRAID OF GETTING HURT ---

A lot of "what if" comes into their mind.

Please, brush that off.

Break ups hurts.

And it hurts real bad.

But like what Wenni said, if you drags it for too long and when you're late 20's and still never been kissed, then really. You really have not much room for errors. It's literally any1 that you pick, will be the one already. Age is ticking.

Everyone wants a perfect fairy tale 1-time-hit love story. But, not everyone have the luck to have it. Don't get deceived by the movie plots. It's BLARDY SCRIPTED for Buddha's sake.

Also don't see break ups as something is bad. Tho it hurts miserably, but it's blardy fucking good learning curve. This, I don't lie.

I will say the same thing that Wenni told me back then:

"Just do it, responsibly"